A Guide for Giving

Every year my uncle would request the same beautiful song on Christmas Eve. 

My grandmother would take her seat at the black upright piano in our family room, and voices of all ages would casually sing along to a few carols until the appointed time. Then the room would synchronously become still as the vocalist took his place. I can still remember him closing his eyes as he sang the first few lines of O Holy Night, his strong voice resounding across the room. Somehow I knew, even as a young child, that this song was more than just a family tradition for my uncle; it was his anthem and his prayer. 

Even now, over thirty years later, I can still picture this scene. But for a long time this memory, along with others, haunted me each December. I grieved living eight hours away. Christmas Eve made me feel lonely and depressed. At times I felt like I was the only one in the world who didn't have their family close by, even though I knew deep down that I was being a bit, well, dramatic, among other things. But the story I was telling myself felt real and impossible. 

The redemption that God has given me recently, however, is that maybe He gives us specific memories like this one as clues to what we can give others. Maybe the things that are the most meaningful to us from the past are His whispers for the present. 

As I seek to prepare our home for Christmas this year, I'm trying to embrace the images that surface rather than grieve them, and create memories for my family from a place of gratitude for what I've been given, and the gifts God has given me to bless others. 

Who knows, you might just find me singing O Holy Night at that same upright piano that now resides in my dining room, or playing the Trans-Siberian Orchestra as my kids walk down the stairs on Christmas morning (thanks for always giving us a grand entrance, Dad!). 

Maybe this year my memories will be my guide for my giving. 

P.S. I really do love Christmas music. So, I made a Spotify playlist to share here. I started making it for my brothers a couple of weeks ago when I came across a few songs that we used to listen to as kids, hence the name 'Songs for my Brothers'. Let me know your favorites.